razzleccentric: (Fire Horse)
Sagittarius Horoscope for week of January 7, 2010

In a million years, I would never authorize you to unleash your naked greed and give it unconditional license to careen through the world gobbling and acquiring and appropriating. However, due to an odd blip in the astrological configurations, I am at liberty to give you permission to unleash your discerning, elegant greed and grant it a temporary dispensation to sample more than usual of anything that captivates your ravenous imagination.
razzleccentric: (Fire Horse)
Sagittarius Horoscope for week of July 2, 2009

While appearing on the TV show "I'm a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here," ex-pro basketball player John Salley gave some advice I'd like to pass along. "When you see crazy coming your way," he philosophized, "you should cross the street." I do think crazy will be headed in your direction sometime soon, Sagittarius, and the best response you can make is to avoid it altogether, preferably in a way that it doesn't notice you. That's right: Don't shout at crazy, don't bolt away ostentatiously, and certainly don't run up and give crazy a big hug. There are far better ways for you to gather in your fair share of intriguing mystery; I'd hate to see you get bogged down in a useless, inferior version of it.

AVOID THE CRAZY. Got it. But... I'm going to a convention this weekend... :P

razzleccentric: (Fire Horse)
Sagittarius Horoscope for week of May 28, 2009

"Wisdom is knowing I am nothing," said Indian philosopher Nisargadatta Maharaj. "Love is knowing I am everything. And between the two my life moves." According to my calculations, Sagittarius, you'll be more on the "knowing you are everything" side of the polarity for the next few weeks. That's because a flood is imminent. I expect you'll be on the receiving end of a massive outreach from the universe -- an influx of invitations, inquiries, and offers to make connection. You should also be prepared for the dizzying pleasure that comes from seeing how profoundly interlinked and interdependent you are.

This made me all teary-eyed. This didn't, but it's a meme with pretty colors. )
razzleccentric: (RazzAnthropologist)
Sagittarius Horoscope for week of April 16, 2009

If intelligent extraterrestrial beings arrived on planet Earth and asked for a meeting, who would we send forth to serve as our ambassador? Believe it or not, the favorite choice, as determined in an Internet poll, was heavy metal musician and TV personality Ozzy Osbourne. Although he wouldn't be my own top candidate, I could see how a Sagittarian pioneer like Osbourne would make sense. Your tribe is especially adept right now at facilitating unprecedented combinations. If anyone could successfully compare apples and oranges, it would be you. If anyone could explain to an anthropologist from Mars the deeper meaning of Paris Hilton and the Octo-mom and the American government's purchase of toxic assets, it would be you.
razzleccentric: (Fire Horse)
Sagittarius Horoscope for week of December 11, 2008

There are 300,000 surveillance cameras set up all over the city of Beijing, spying constantly on its citizens. London, a supposed bastion of democracy, has 500,000 such cameras. I highly recommend you don't visit either place in the coming weeks, Sagittarius. It's crucial for you to avoid influences that make you feel self-conscious or guilty. You've got to hang out in spots where you're not being watched, scrutinized, and evaluated. While you're at it, you might also want to tell your Inner Critic to shut the hell up. You need wide-open, judgment-free spaces, both without and within.

Sometimes it's eerie how Brezsny gets all up in my head... and my recent events.
razzleccentric: (Fire Horse)
Sagittarius Horoscope for week of September 25, 2008

Many Americans regard the Pledge of Allegiance as a supreme oath of loyalty to the United States. When I was a kid, we used to recite it to start each school day. Members of Congress still make it their opening salutation at every session. It's not well-known, though, that the Pledge was composed by a Socialist, Baptist minister Francis Bellamy. Republicans might swoon in apoplexy if you presented them with this proof that an extreme left-winger was a fervent patriot. But doing that would be right in alignment with your assignment in the coming week, Sagittarius. You will receive encouragement from the cosmos whenever you seek out and express facts that disprove prevailing biases and mistaken beliefs.
razzleccentric: (Fire Horse)
Sagittarius Horoscope for week of June 12, 2008

You really have no right to tear yourself down. Badmouthing yourself is a first-degree sin, and so is being mean to yourself or depriving yourself of the care you need to thrive. This is always true, of course, but in the coming week it's more crucial than ever that you refrain from even the subtlest forms of self-abuse. To be anything less than an imaginative lover and nurturer toward yourself could upset the cosmic equilibrium so profoundly that everyone else would suffer, too. Therefore, you owe it to the rest of us to shower yourself with blessings.
razzleccentric: (Fire Horse)
Sagittarius Horoscope for week of January 3, 2008

In my dream, I was addressing a crowd of Sagittarians in a festively decorated hall. It was the first week of 2008. "You are not yet ready for the wonderful things you think you want," I told them. "To actually get them, you will have to change yourself in the coming months; you will have to shed some old conditioning that is interfering with your quest for success. Do you know what that old conditioning is? Find out NOW! Figure out how you need to transform yourself in order for the world to give you what you yearn for."
razzleccentric: (Fire Horse)
Sagittarius Horoscope for week of October 25, 2007

If you've been put on a pedestal by a person who admires you a little too much, it's likely you'll have to climb down from that pedestal in the coming weeks. If you've been floating up in the clouds, it's time to get your feet on the ground. In fact, Sagittarius, if there's any way in which you've been too high and mighty, too far outside and beyond, you'd be wise to leave it behind in favor of a more down-to-earth perspective. This is very good news, by the way. After an initial jolt, life will be more interesting and people will become more helpful. Halloween costume suggestions: an angel coming down a ladder, a parachutist, a celebrity drunk in rehab.

How you gonna see me now? Please don't see me ugly, babe. 'Cause I know I let you down in oh, so many ways...
razzleccentric: (Fire Horse)
Sagittarius Horoscope for week of October 18, 2007

While traveling long distances, birds are constantly napping. They can close one eye at a time, allowing one side of the brain to sleep. I hope you'll be inspired by their technique in the coming weeks, Sagittarius -- not by literally snoozing in mid-air as you soar across abysses during your leaps of faith, of course. Rather, I'm suggesting that you become a master of inducing utter relaxation for brief spells between each of your daring, heart-pounding exploits. Stay poised, good-natured, and full of grace even while you're in the thick of adventure.


Yeah, I have nightmares about napping in the car... on my way to school. >.<

I think I'm actually getting better at this, though. Instead of freaking out over missing class and losing my mind in the traffic jam this morning, I just sat and sang along with my mp3s and slurped my coffee and practiced being OK with irritating circumstance.

Cuz what else are ya gonna do???
razzleccentric: (Fire Horse)
Sagittarius Horoscope for week of October 11, 2007

"Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur" is Latin for "Anything said in Latin sounds profound." Since your imminent future will require you to be elegant, high-minded, august, and in possession of gravitas -- even if people you deal with aren't any of those things -- I'll provide you with Latin phrases to fit the kinds of situations you may find yourself in.

(1) Quod natura non sunt turpia. (What is natural cannot be bad.)
(2) Quinon proficit deficit. (He who does not advance, goes backwards.)
(3) Quod cibus est aliis, aliis est venenum. (What's food to some is poison to others.)
(4) Magna cum voluptate. (With great pleasure.)
(5) Sane ego te vocavi. Forsitan capedictum tuum desit. (I did call. Maybe your answering machine is broken.)
(6) Revelare pecunia! (Show me the money!)
(7) Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri? (How do you get your hair to do that?)
razzleccentric: (Saggy)
Sagittarius Horoscope for week of January 18, 2007

"There is nothing in the world more futile than the attempt to find out how a task should be done when one has not yet decided what the task is." Philosopher Alexander Meiklejohn said that, and now I'm relaying his advice to you. Please ignore it if you're having no trouble at all figuring out what you should do next. But if you are the least bit fuzzy about your future direction, spend some time in the coming days defining the precise nature of your short-term goals.

A dem fine idear.


razzleccentric: (Default)

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